12月英語四級作文提分技巧之結構簡潔
好的寫作，首先而且至關重要的一點就是簡潔。繁冗的寫作堆砌了許多無用的詞藻，反而減弱表述的清晰度。當然，也不能僅僅因為簡短就認為短句一定優于長句。只要一個單詞確實能起到一定的作用，它就應該留在句中。一般來說，只有在進行強調或修飾、美化句子時，才能使用重復的單詞、語音和短語。修改文章，就是要刪繁就簡。比較下面這對句子，注意體會二者的差別及效果。
1) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by means of a big boat.
2) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by boat.
斜體字部分較啰嗦，因為by就是by means of boat。
請看下列例句
Wordy: It makes me feel painful to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.
Better: It pains me to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.
Wordy: It will be our aim to ensure proper health care for each and every one of the Chinese people.
Better: Our aim is to ensure proper health care for all Chinese.
Wordy: This book will help you master the basic elements of good writing.
Better: This book will help you master the basics of good writing.
Wordy: The search of the forest that they conducted was entirely complete.
Better: The search of the forest was complete.
或They conducted a complete search of the forest.
第二個句子合乎漢語表達習慣，即他們對森林進行了徹底的搜查。
Wordy: He has no sense of principles, whether he is in public or in private.
Better: He has no principles, public or private.
Wordy: Whenever anyone telephoned her to ask her for help with their homework she always obliged right away.
Better: She immediately obliged anyone who telephoned for help with homework.
Wordy: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.
Better: The car negotiated the corner.
Wordy: If the government agency finds that an individual has received a payment to which the individual was not entitled, whether or not the payment was due to the individuals fault or misrepresentation, the individual shall be liable to repay to the government the total sum of the payment to which the individual was not entitled.
Better: If the government agency finds that you received a payment that you werent entitled to, you must pay the entire sum back.
Wordy: Another important aspect is good health. It is one of our great blessings. It may be achieved through proper diet and exercise. Rest is also desirable.
Better: The great blessing of good health may be had through proper diet, exercise, and rest.
詞語簡化的一些技巧
2 策略之一：用介詞短語替代從句。
例:
Wordy: While they were playing tennis, she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Better: During tennis she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Wordy: When you come to the second traffic light, turn right.
Better: At the second traffic light turn left.
2 策略之二：刪除諸如who is或that is之類的關系代詞，變從句為短語。
例:
Wordy: The novel, which is written in three parts, told a story that took place in the Middle Ages.
Better: The three-part novel told a story set in the Middle Ages.
注：把句中的three parts改用形容詞來表達，節省了四個不必要的單詞which is written in。我們經常可以將關系代詞如that去掉，這只會引起最少的變動。
2 策略之三：剔除你不需要的單詞
Two joint partners will present their views over a long-distance telephone call.
寫完這樣的句子后，你自己再讀一遍，挑出單詞joint和telephone，注意刪去不必要的詞。
2 策略之四：表達否定意義時，盡量避免使用否定詞。英語中很多詞不用 nos 或者nots也能表達否定含義的詞匯，你盡可以采取更為委婉的表達方式。
例：
Thus college students who do not have sufficient financial backing ,
也就是 college students who lacks sufficient financial backing。
如果你不想使用太多的否定詞，就應該盡量避免使用它們。
好的寫作，首先而且至關重要的一點就是簡潔。繁冗的寫作堆砌了許多無用的詞藻，反而減弱表述的清晰度。當然，也不能僅僅因為簡短就認為短句一定優于長句。只要一個單詞確實能起到一定的作用，它就應該留在句中。一般來說，只有在進行強調或修飾、美化句子時，才能使用重復的單詞、語音和短語。修改文章，就是要刪繁就簡。比較下面這對句子，注意體會二者的差別及效果。
1) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by means of a big boat.
2) Dr. Sun Yat-sen went to Japan by boat.
斜體字部分較啰嗦，因為by就是by means of boat。
請看下列例句
Wordy: It makes me feel painful to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.
Better: It pains me to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.
Wordy: It will be our aim to ensure proper health care for each and every one of the Chinese people.
Better: Our aim is to ensure proper health care for all Chinese.
Wordy: This book will help you master the basic elements of good writing.
Better: This book will help you master the basics of good writing.
Wordy: The search of the forest that they conducted was entirely complete.
Better: The search of the forest was complete.
或They conducted a complete search of the forest.
第二個句子合乎漢語表達習慣，即他們對森林進行了徹底的搜查。
Wordy: He has no sense of principles, whether he is in public or in private.
Better: He has no principles, public or private.
Wordy: Whenever anyone telephoned her to ask her for help with their homework she always obliged right away.
Better: She immediately obliged anyone who telephoned for help with homework.
Wordy: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.
Better: The car negotiated the corner.
Wordy: If the government agency finds that an individual has received a payment to which the individual was not entitled, whether or not the payment was due to the individuals fault or misrepresentation, the individual shall be liable to repay to the government the total sum of the payment to which the individual was not entitled.
Better: If the government agency finds that you received a payment that you werent entitled to, you must pay the entire sum back.
Wordy: Another important aspect is good health. It is one of our great blessings. It may be achieved through proper diet and exercise. Rest is also desirable.
Better: The great blessing of good health may be had through proper diet, exercise, and rest.
詞語簡化的一些技巧
2 策略之一：用介詞短語替代從句。
例:
Wordy: While they were playing tennis, she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Better: During tennis she started an argument that lasted all morning.
Wordy: When you come to the second traffic light, turn right.
Better: At the second traffic light turn left.
2 策略之二：刪除諸如who is或that is之類的關系代詞，變從句為短語。
例:
Wordy: The novel, which is written in three parts, told a story that took place in the Middle Ages.
Better: The three-part novel told a story set in the Middle Ages.
注：把句中的three parts改用形容詞來表達，節省了四個不必要的單詞which is written in。我們經常可以將關系代詞如that去掉，這只會引起最少的變動。
2 策略之三：剔除你不需要的單詞
Two joint partners will present their views over a long-distance telephone call.
寫完這樣的句子后，你自己再讀一遍，挑出單詞joint和telephone，注意刪去不必要的詞。
2 策略之四：表達否定意義時，盡量避免使用否定詞。英語中很多詞不用 nos 或者nots也能表達否定含義的詞匯，你盡可以采取更為委婉的表達方式。
例：
Thus college students who do not have sufficient financial backing ,
也就是 college students who lacks sufficient financial backing。
如果你不想使用太多的否定詞，就應該盡量避免使用它們。
