Before my wife and I settled in Austin, TX last year, we lived in 12 apartments in nine cities over the last 10 years. And while the digital nature of my work means that much of my network is only a mouse-click away, it was definitely challenging to move to new cities like Minneapolis and Austin without knowing many people in person.

我和妻子去年決定在德克薩斯州的奧斯丁定居，在此之前，我們在9個不同的城市的12套公寓居住了長達10年的時間。雖然我的工作是與電子密切相關的，日常工作就是點點鼠標，但是對于我們來說，移居至一個像明尼阿波里斯市和奧斯丁這樣沒有任何熟人的新城市，真的是一個非常大的挑戰。

The internet is great, but there's really something to be said for having face-to-face connections with people who can help motivate and inspire you.

沒錯，網絡的功能很強大，但是如果能夠與那些激勵和鼓舞你的人建立起面對面交流的關系確實意義非凡。

If your own network is looking a bit lackluster, never fear. The start of a new year is the perfect time to invest in building your tribe. Here are a few of the techniques that've helped me meet friends, business partners, influencers, mentors and more.

如果你的人際關系淡如水，請不要擔憂。新年伊始，是你建立個人關系網的絕好時機。下面給大家分享幾個小技巧，它們曾經指引著我去與新朋友，商業伙伴，有影響力的人，導師等建立良好的關系。

1. Never Eat Alone

1. 絕不獨自吃飯

I was in San Francisco back when Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone book came out, and I took its message to heart, arranging to eat meals with anyone who'd agree to meet me. Doing so had a huge impact on my career. Not only did I meet a ton of new connections, I also got over any lingering fears I had about making conversation with people I didn't know.

當時我還在三藩市，Keith Ferrazzi的新書《絕不單獨吃飯》剛好出版了，我把其中的一些有用信息記在心上，然后安排了跟那些愿意與我見面的朋友一起吃飯。隨后這個舉措對我的職業生涯帶來了巨大的影響。我不僅確確實實地與許多新朋友見了面，我也克服了與陌生人交談的恐懼。

2. Practice Good Networking

2. 鍛煉良好的社交技能

As far as specific networking tactics go, there's not much more I can tell you than to go out there, meet people and build relationships. It really is about being all action, not all talk.

鑒于具體的社交技巧有許多，與其告訴你怎么做不如你親自走出去，多見見朋友建立關系。這真的就是實際行動了，而不是紙上談兵。

However, I do see people making a lot of different mistakes in the actual execution of their networking - and that's what I want to touch on here. Here's an example: you get up the courage to go to a local networking event and actually talk to a few people. You have some great conversations, but after the event is over, you do nothing. Guess what kind of relationship is going to come from that encounter?

然而，我確實也發現人們在實際的人際交往中出現各種各樣的錯誤，這也是我在這里想要談到的內容。舉個例子：你鼓起勇氣參加本地的一次社交活動，也跟一些人交談了。你確實跟別人聊得很愉快，但是活動結束后，你什么也沒有做成。想一想，你這種打交道的方式建立了什么樣的關系？

You got it - nothing.

你得到——什么也沒有。

Practicing good networking, to me, involves the following things:

對于我本人來說，鍛煉良好的社交技能需要考慮到以下這些因素：

Being consistent.

從一而終。

In my example above, a lack of consistency was the critical failure. One contact does not a network make. Nobody will get to know you and trust you if you only meet once. Be consistent both in your networking and in your follow-up. Even simple touches, such as forwarding an interesting email or sharing a social post, can build a relationship.

就我上面提到的例子，缺乏從一而終的毅力是致命的失誤。一次的見面聯系是無法建立關系的。沒有人會在只一次見面后就了解和信任你。所以在建立人際關系時以及后續見面時都要保持從一而終的態度。即使是簡單的小聯系，比如轉發一封有趣的郵件或分享一篇社交帖子，都能建立人脈。

Making sure you're connecting with the right people.

確保與對的人建立關系。

There's a place for broad networking, but you also need to invest in approaching people who can help you (now or in the future). That doesn't just mean potential clients, though. Connecting with prospective customers, for example, could give you valuable insight when you're planning your next product or service.

建立寬闊的人際關系網的地方很容易能找到，但是你也需要為與能夠幫助你的人們（現在或將來）接觸而花點錢。不過這不僅僅意味著跟潛在的顧客打交道。比如，與預期的客戶聯系，就能在你計劃下一件產品或服務的時候提供有價值的想法。

Having a good infrastructure in place.

良好的基礎設施必須做到位。

If somebody asks you for your card, do you have one to give? And even if you do, what does the website they'll land on when they're web-stalking you later look like? Part of building your network from scratch means looking like someone people want to know.

如果有人詢問你要卡片，你能給出來嗎？而即使你真的有，你所提供給對方后續了解的網站設施又是怎么樣的？在從零開始的人際關系建立過程中，在某種程度上意味著你要表現得一個讓別人感興趣的人。

If all else fails, follow the advice of Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of Business Network International (BNI): "Be visible. Networking is a contact sport! You have to get out and connect with people."

如果以上這些方法都不管用，那么可以參考世界商訊機構的創始人兼主席伊萬·米斯納教授的建議：“要有存在感。建立人際關系網是一項聯系的運動！你必須走出去跟他們建立聯系。”

3. Stop Being a Selfish Networker

3. 別再以自我為中心

Finally, when you're building a new network from the ground up, you can't approach networking with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. This is true for most networking, but it goes double for situations where people don't know you and are naturally inclined to be suspicious.

最后，當你從頭開始建立新的人際關系網了，但你不能以一種“對我有什么好處？”的態度去建立關系。這對于大多數的社交活動來說是非常重要的，但是當你周遭都是陌生人并自然而然會對你保持懷疑態度的時候，這個想法就會加倍強烈了。

And I get it - you're not networking for fun. You're meeting new people with the hopes of getting something from them, whether it's referrals, leads, sales or even just mentorship and guidance. But when you network from this selfish place, you make it impossible for genuine connections to form. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who's constantly self-promoting without giving anything in return!

其實我明白——你不是為了樂趣而去社交。你只是想從他們身上獲得點什么才去跟他們見面，無論是推薦，領導，銷售或者只是隨從學習和指導。但當你從這個自私的角度出發去跟他人打交道，你無法建立起真正的人際關系。沒有人想要跟自私自利又不懂回報的人一起玩！

Communication expert Amy Castro explains this well:

社交專家艾米·卡斯特羅對此種情況有獨到的見解：

"I don't like feeling like I'm being 'sold to,' nor have I ever liked, probably to my detriment, 'selling myself.' Rather, I feel if people get to know me, know what I'm passionate about, and what I have to offer my friends, colleagues, and customers, they'll let me know if they want to associate with me."

“我不喜歡那種 ‘被推銷’出去的感覺，也不曾喜歡或許對我不利的‘自我推銷’的感覺。相反，如果人們想認識我，知道我的喜好，了解我所能夠為朋友，同事和客戶所付出的東西，我就會知道他們是真的想要跟我建立聯系。”

Before my wife and I settled in Austin, TX last year, we lived in 12 apartments in nine cities over the last 10 years. And while the digital nature of my work means that much of my network is only a mouse-click away, it was definitely challenging to move to new cities like Minneapolis and Austin without knowing many people in person.

我和妻子去年決定在德克薩斯州的奧斯丁定居，在此之前，我們在9個不同的城市的12套公寓居住了長達10年的時間。雖然我的工作是與電子密切相關的，日常工作就是點點鼠標，但是對于我們來說，移居至一個像明尼阿波里斯市和奧斯丁這樣沒有任何熟人的新城市，真的是一個非常大的挑戰。

The internet is great, but there's really something to be said for having face-to-face connections with people who can help motivate and inspire you.

沒錯，網絡的功能很強大，但是如果能夠與那些激勵和鼓舞你的人建立起面對面交流的關系確實意義非凡。

If your own network is looking a bit lackluster, never fear. The start of a new year is the perfect time to invest in building your tribe. Here are a few of the techniques that've helped me meet friends, business partners, influencers, mentors and more.

如果你的人際關系淡如水，請不要擔憂。新年伊始，是你建立個人關系網的絕好時機。下面給大家分享幾個小技巧，它們曾經指引著我去與新朋友，商業伙伴，有影響力的人，導師等建立良好的關系。

1. Never Eat Alone

1. 絕不獨自吃飯

I was in San Francisco back when Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone book came out, and I took its message to heart, arranging to eat meals with anyone who'd agree to meet me. Doing so had a huge impact on my career. Not only did I meet a ton of new connections, I also got over any lingering fears I had about making conversation with people I didn't know.

當時我還在三藩市，Keith Ferrazzi的新書《絕不單獨吃飯》剛好出版了，我把其中的一些有用信息記在心上，然后安排了跟那些愿意與我見面的朋友一起吃飯。隨后這個舉措對我的職業生涯帶來了巨大的影響。我不僅確確實實地與許多新朋友見了面，我也克服了與陌生人交談的恐懼。

2. Practice Good Networking

2. 鍛煉良好的社交技能

As far as specific networking tactics go, there's not much more I can tell you than to go out there, meet people and build relationships. It really is about being all action, not all talk.

鑒于具體的社交技巧有許多，與其告訴你怎么做不如你親自走出去，多見見朋友建立關系。這真的就是實際行動了，而不是紙上談兵。

However, I do see people making a lot of different mistakes in the actual execution of their networking - and that's what I want to touch on here. Here's an example: you get up the courage to go to a local networking event and actually talk to a few people. You have some great conversations, but after the event is over, you do nothing. Guess what kind of relationship is going to come from that encounter?

然而，我確實也發現人們在實際的人際交往中出現各種各樣的錯誤，這也是我在這里想要談到的內容。舉個例子：你鼓起勇氣參加本地的一次社交活動，也跟一些人交談了。你確實跟別人聊得很愉快，但是活動結束后，你什么也沒有做成。想一想，你這種打交道的方式建立了什么樣的關系？

You got it - nothing.

你得到——什么也沒有。

Practicing good networking, to me, involves the following things:

對于我本人來說，鍛煉良好的社交技能需要考慮到以下這些因素：

Being consistent.

從一而終。

In my example above, a lack of consistency was the critical failure. One contact does not a network make. Nobody will get to know you and trust you if you only meet once. Be consistent both in your networking and in your follow-up. Even simple touches, such as forwarding an interesting email or sharing a social post, can build a relationship.

就我上面提到的例子，缺乏從一而終的毅力是致命的失誤。一次的見面聯系是無法建立關系的。沒有人會在只一次見面后就了解和信任你。所以在建立人際關系時以及后續見面時都要保持從一而終的態度。即使是簡單的小聯系，比如轉發一封有趣的郵件或分享一篇社交帖子，都能建立人脈。

Making sure you're connecting with the right people.

確保與對的人建立關系。

There's a place for broad networking, but you also need to invest in approaching people who can help you (now or in the future). That doesn't just mean potential clients, though. Connecting with prospective customers, for example, could give you valuable insight when you're planning your next product or service.

建立寬闊的人際關系網的地方很容易能找到，但是你也需要為與能夠幫助你的人們（現在或將來）接觸而花點錢。不過這不僅僅意味著跟潛在的顧客打交道。比如，與預期的客戶聯系，就能在你計劃下一件產品或服務的時候提供有價值的想法。

Having a good infrastructure in place.

良好的基礎設施必須做到位。

If somebody asks you for your card, do you have one to give? And even if you do, what does the website they'll land on when they're web-stalking you later look like? Part of building your network from scratch means looking like someone people want to know.

如果有人詢問你要卡片，你能給出來嗎？而即使你真的有，你所提供給對方后續了解的網站設施又是怎么樣的？在從零開始的人際關系建立過程中，在某種程度上意味著你要表現得一個讓別人感興趣的人。

If all else fails, follow the advice of Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of Business Network International (BNI): "Be visible. Networking is a contact sport! You have to get out and connect with people."

如果以上這些方法都不管用，那么可以參考世界商訊機構的創始人兼主席伊萬·米斯納教授的建議：“要有存在感。建立人際關系網是一項聯系的運動！你必須走出去跟他們建立聯系。”

3. Stop Being a Selfish Networker

3. 別再以自我為中心

Finally, when you're building a new network from the ground up, you can't approach networking with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. This is true for most networking, but it goes double for situations where people don't know you and are naturally inclined to be suspicious.

最后，當你從頭開始建立新的人際關系網了，但你不能以一種“對我有什么好處？”的態度去建立關系。這對于大多數的社交活動來說是非常重要的，但是當你周遭都是陌生人并自然而然會對你保持懷疑態度的時候，這個想法就會加倍強烈了。

And I get it - you're not networking for fun. You're meeting new people with the hopes of getting something from them, whether it's referrals, leads, sales or even just mentorship and guidance. But when you network from this selfish place, you make it impossible for genuine connections to form. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who's constantly self-promoting without giving anything in return!

其實我明白——你不是為了樂趣而去社交。你只是想從他們身上獲得點什么才去跟他們見面，無論是推薦，領導，銷售或者只是隨從學習和指導。但當你從這個自私的角度出發去跟他人打交道，你無法建立起真正的人際關系。沒有人想要跟自私自利又不懂回報的人一起玩！

Communication expert Amy Castro explains this well:

社交專家艾米·卡斯特羅對此種情況有獨到的見解：

"I don't like feeling like I'm being 'sold to,' nor have I ever liked, probably to my detriment, 'selling myself.' Rather, I feel if people get to know me, know what I'm passionate about, and what I have to offer my friends, colleagues, and customers, they'll let me know if they want to associate with me."

“我不喜歡那種 ‘被推銷’出去的感覺，也不曾喜歡或許對我不利的‘自我推銷’的感覺。相反，如果人們想認識我，知道我的喜好，了解我所能夠為朋友，同事和客戶所付出的東西，我就會知道他們是真的想要跟我建立聯系。”