拒絕還是接納——來自流浪漢的啟發(fā)

由雕龍文庫 分享時間：2024-03-28 17:32:18 收藏本文

生活中，我們常常要面臨選擇，比如選擇接納，或者拒絕。那么，究竟怎樣的選擇才是對我們最好的呢？

I was out for my usual morning run and found myself stumbling through the late-summer heat, wishing I had taken a water bottle. I stopped under a bridge for a moment of shade, I saw two young, scruffymen standing next to their sleeping bags. One smiled and gently raised his hand as if motioning“hello” but didn’t say a word. He wasn’t asking for anything. I smiled and made the same motion back to him.

我像往常一樣，早起晨跑，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被夏末的熱浪搞得夠嗆，真希望當(dāng)時帶了一瓶水喝。我跑到一座橋下，就這那的陰影乘了一會涼，看見兩個邋遢的男人站在睡袋旁。一個微笑著輕輕舉起手，好像在說“你好”，卻一個字也沒說。他沒有要求任何東西。我微笑著和他做了同樣的動作。

As I started back on my run, I thought about how much we all crave connection. In that moment, this homeless man seemed to want to connect more than he wanted food or money.

當(dāng)我開始繼續(xù)跑步時，我意識到我們是多么渴望與別人建立關(guān)系。在那一刻，比起他想要的食物或錢，這個無家可歸的人似乎更想要人與人間的聯(lián)系。

We have all had experiences of feeling separate and lonely. I have felt lonely being in a relationship that was void of emotional connection. Feeling separation doesn’t have anything to do with being alone vs. being with people — it is about the human desire to feel connected by being seen and valued by another person.

我們都有過孤獨的經(jīng)歷。我曾在一段沒有情感聯(lián)系的關(guān)系中感受過孤獨。孤獨感的產(chǎn)生與是否孑然一身或是否與人在一起并沒有任何關(guān)系——它關(guān)乎的是人類對人際關(guān)系的渴望，那種被人看見并珍視的感覺。

If your tendency is to spend time alone, practice saying yes to invitations. Practice moving towards rather than away from people.

如果你傾向于獨自消磨時光，那么試著練習(xí)接受別人的邀請。試著學(xué)會和大家一起度過時光，而不是遠(yuǎn)離他們。

We all benefit from connection. That homeless man impacted my day. After encountering him, I felt more grateful — appreciating all that I have. He triggered my compassion — I found myself feelingempathy for him. I had the choice to move towards separation or connection. Were there many ways in which he and I are very different? Absolutely! Are there many ways in which we are alike! Absolutely! I can reflect on times in my life that like him, I was in a situation I had never anticipated, times that I felt broke, times that I felt at a low point. And as he may have been feeling this morning, times when I needed someone to stop and acknowledge me.

我們都會從與人交流中受益。那位無家可歸的人影響了我的一天。遇到他后，我感到更為感恩，感激我所擁有的一切。他激發(fā)了我的憐憫之情，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己對他有了同理心。我能夠選擇到底是與人疏遠(yuǎn)還是與人交流。他和我有很多不同之處嗎?絕對有!他和我有很多相似之處?絕對有!我能回想起自己生命中與他一樣的時刻，像這樣處于一個我從未預(yù)料到的情況之中：支離破碎、踟躕低谷;以及像他今天早上可能感覺到的一樣，需要有人為我停下腳步，不把我當(dāng)透明人看。

We always have a choice as to whether we move towards separation or connection. Separation is looking at the homeless person and focusing on how unkempt he looks, and criticizing why he has a 7-11 Slurpee cup if he is out of money. Connection is acknowledging that he impacted my day by reaching out to me.

我們總可以選擇是拒人于千里之外還是與接納別人。拒人于千里之外，就是看到無家可歸的人時只注意到他看起來是多么凌亂，并錙銖必較地想著如果他身無分文又為何有一個7-11思樂冰杯。而接納他，則是是承認(rèn)他通過主動接觸我而影響了我的一天。

Pay attention today and notice whether you tend to move towards separation or towards connection. Pay attention today and notice whether that is working well for you.

關(guān)注當(dāng)下，仔細(xì)想想你的方向到底是拒絕還是接納。關(guān)注當(dāng)下，想想這么做是不是真的對你好。